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  • Writer's picturejoyforministry

Looking Back

Updated: Jul 15, 2019


I started journaling some of my experiences of being a Pastor's wife many years ago.  As I look back at those entries, I see times of pain.  And to be honest - it chills me just reading some of them.  I wish I could go back to that young woman and hug her.  I would tell her to be strong, to look for the good, and to live to please the Lord first and foremost.  I would tell her to journal more and not just about the hard times.   I didn't often journal about the good times in ministry.  Why is that?  I think I was looking for a way to cope with the hard things.  And then hopefully move on and get freedom from the challenges.  I wanted to be over my fear of rejection.  I wanted to conquer my need to be liked.  I was desperate to not care if someone didn't want to be my friend.  I was so hopeful I would be indifferent if my husband was being criticized.   Journaling was a way that I could express my pain.  But I didn't know how to deal with it.  I didn't know how to grow.  I needed to mature and gain wisdom through experiences.  But I also needed some tools to help me along the way.   One question I often ask other Pastor's wives or women who are in ministry/married to men in ministry - "What is something you wish you could go back and tell yourself when you first started out?"  I would tell myself to find a pastor, mentor, or friend (outside of the ministry I was serving in).  Someone who could pour into me as I was pouring out to others.  Someone who I could confide in and gain wisdom from.  Someone who would CARE for me.  Maybe that is why I am passionate about caring for you who are reading this.  I wish I had that way back then.   If you are a seasoned veteran in ministry - what would you go back and tell yourself?   Please share with me as I would love to know.  And if you don’t mind I will share it on this site to help others just starting out.  


2 comments

2 תגובות


joyforministry
joyforministry
14 באוג׳ 2019

Thank you so much Barbara! What wonderful things you would go back and tell yourself. I love the part on pruning. That is something we don’t realize until we go through many experiences and we are changed. I love all that you said. It is so valuable. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. Love and miss you. 💜

לייק

Barbara Ruglio
Barbara Ruglio
14 באוג׳ 2019

Hello Joy, here I found you caring for others. I am thrilled and not surprised. It is who you are.


There is no one who does ministry, or indeed who cares for others, who is not hurt. It is a common experience. But like you, I was surprised, and then also deeply wounded, as if it was my own father rejected me. It felt like a death.


I would tell my younger self two things: Jesus sees and Jesus loves us. Even when we fail. Even when we make bad decisions, or lash out in anger in others. Jesus loves those who hurt us too. I too journal, mostly when I have been in pain. It was how I processed,…


לייק
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